Sunday, May 1, 2016

Ready to Learn

Dear Students,

Welcome to my class. Notice I said my class. Yes, this is my room and this is how I run it. You will sit. You will not get up without my permission. To be granted permission, you will raise your hand. But do not wave it or I will surely ignore you. If and when I choose to acknowledge you, then and only then may you make your request known. Subsequently I, having the ultimate power, shall determine whether or not you may leave your rigid desk chair. No, I don’t care that your pencil point
broke. Yes, I realize you haven’t been to the bathroom in four hours.

In order to survive this hostile environment there are other essential requirements. First, you must speak only when spoken to. Open, thoughtful discussions are not conducive to my ultimate goal of control. Second, you must never laugh. We are not here to have fun. We are here to listen to my well-prepared lectures. And finally, and certainly most importantly, you must never, ever write on paper with squiggly edges. To do so in the real world will surely result in your demise, thus I must not allow it here.

Alright, students, now it’s time to learn. Aren’t you excited?

Your Uninspiring Educator

1 comment:

  1. you have the right qualities a teacher has to posess. nice but authoritative so the students can trust you but also respect you. i am ready for your classes. you seem to be doing great