Friday, June 13, 2014

Musings from Murk: A Higher Power 6

Taken from Murk's AA/NA journal writing regarding steps  1 -3 of The Steps to Serenity:

Have there been times when I have been unable to let go and trust God to care for the outcome of a particular situation? Yes. Nearly every time that I became angry or very stressed before I started honestly seeking to turn it over to Him.

How do I take action to turn it over? Now I just look up and say, "Take this! I can't. It's in your hands." And then let it go.

Are there any words I say regularly? "God, your will and the power to carry it out. Guide me in my life and recovery."

What am I doing to reinforce my decision to allow my higher power to care for my will and my life? I look each day for the hope I find when I know He's doing for me what I couldn't have done for myself. It's a wonderful feeling to know it's His hand in the situation I face each day.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Musings from Murk: A Higher Power 5

Taken from Murk's AA/NA journal writing regarding steps  1 -3 of The Steps to Serenity:

How might my life be changed if I make the decision to turn it over to my Higher Power's care? I then have the opportunity to experience happiness and serenity and joy in the blessings He has created for me that I've always missed by being in charge myself with no idea what I really need or what truly would bring me peace and happiness.

How do I allow my Higher Power to work in my life? Through honesty, open mindedness, and willingness in my surrender. With these I get the faith I need for Him to guide my actions and thoughts.

How does my Higher Power care for my will and life? He allows me to instinctively do the things that used to baffle me. Situations that I used to fear or that used to cause much stress in my life, I turn to Him, and He smooths them out and I react differently to these situations.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Musings from Murk: A Higher Power 4

Taken from Murk's AA/NA journal writing regarding steps  1 -3 of The Steps to Serenity:

What does "to the care of" mean to me? It means I don't have to be in charge of the whole world, and that I accept that a power greater than me will do a better job of caring for my thinking and actions than I have. It means I surrender and allow something to care for me.

What does it mean for me to turn my will and my life over to the care of the God of my understanding? It means each day I have to take action by asking God to grant me His will for that day and the power to carry His will out to guide me in my recovery and show me how He wants me to live. I must do this to the best of my ability using the spiritual principles I have from Steps 1 & 2 - honesty and hope. Honestly as I can with the hope and knowledge that He will.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Musings from Murk: A Higher Power 3

Taken from Murk's AA/NA journal writing regarding steps  1 -3 of The Steps to Serenity:

What feelings do I have about my Higher Power? I feel that I am not alone anymore for the first time since I was very young. I feel protected. I feel at peace. I feel forgiven. I feel happiness in a way I've never experienced. I feel life has meaning finally. I feel a part of something. I feel that something is in control that has the power and that it's not all left up to me and my self will anymore. I feel that whatever I've been and done, it's ok somehow, and all is as it should be and has been. And all of this I feel because of my higher power.

Am I struggling with changing beliefs about the nature of my Higher Power? Describe. No. I've surrendered to the fact that my higher power is what it is no matter what I believe. When I'm wrong, it doesn't change it. When I'm right, it doesn't change it. As I grow, my relationship changes and that's ok!

Is my concept of a Higher Power still working? Yes. How does it need to change? My level of surrender.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Musings from Murk: A Higher Power 2

Taken from Murk's AA/NA journal writing regarding steps  1 -3 of The Steps to Serenity:

How do I communicate with my Higher Power? I pray upon waking for His will and the power to carry it out and ask for nothing more, because I don't even have the power to know what would make me happy or what I need. Then I talk to Him in my thoughts all the day through because I know He knows everything past, present, and future, so I can be more honest with Him than anyone else I know. When I talk with Him, I have to look at everyone the same, including me and want the same blessings for everyone that I want for myself.

How does my Higher Power communicate with me? Sometimes with words in a voice that is unmistakable, but very seldom. Usually in ways that are unmistakably His and leave no room for doubt. Sometimes I ask Him something and He shows me. Sometimes I ask Him to take some problem, some frustration, some situation that is causing me to know there is nothing I can do about it, that I'm powerless, and I just let go and watch Him take care of it in ways I could never thought of or figured out. He lets me know He's available any time I need Him.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Musings from Murk: A Higher Power 1

Taken from Murk's AA/NA journal writing regarding steps  1 -3 of The Steps to Serenity:

Does the word "God" or even the concept itself make me uncomfortable? No

Have I ever believed that God caused horrible things to happen to me or was punishing me? What were those things? Yes, sometimes when everything went totally wrong, like when I broke up with my wife, went to prison (more the getting caught than the prison part), when in a very depressed state for a a long period with seemingly no way out. Sometimes when I tried hard and long to get something I wanted and didn't get it.

What is my understanding of a power greater than myself today? The power that created the world and universe as we see and know it. The power that holds it together and controls it. The power that made me and all others before and after me and controls everything that is and will be. The power that can and will make sense out of my life and death if I seek and surrender it. The power that can be all that is and ever will be to everyone and everything and that is All. And all these powers are one and the same and need no name for no matter what we choose to call this power or not call it, it makes no difference. It is what it is and isn't changed by us our names for it. Usually I choose to call it God.

How is my Higher Power working in my life today? In ways I can see and am aware of and in ways I don't see and could never understand anyway. Most importantly to me, in a way that fills a spot deep within me that, no matter what I've had or done in my adult life, was empty or aching. My Higher Power has given me honesty, hope, and now the beginning of a faith that satisfies a longing and a need I've always felt but could do nothing about without the awareness of this power and surrender to it.