Monday, May 27, 2013

NYC Shopping Brawl

Originally posted in my Facebook notes. Names changed to protect the guilty.

Inquiring minds want to know the details of our NYC shopping trip brawl, so here it is. We were in SoHo, a trendy shopping district in Lower Manhattan. We had just hit Eileen's Special Cheesecake and then headed over to Broadway to begin shopping. Our first stop was Yellow Rat Bastard, a very large (by NYC standards) clothing store. And no, I have no idea why it's called that.

From My Perspective

The dear husband endured browsing for all of three minutes and told us he would stand outside the door to people-watch. The dear daughter and I had moved near the back of the store, our view of the front obstructed by a square structure with columns and a roof that housed the cash register, when we heard a huge ruckus coming from the front of the store. It sounded like a very angry man cursing and yelling and we heard a female(s) screaming as if terrified. My first thought was, "a domestic dispute," since any couple shopping together at Christmastime is certainly on the verge of one at any given moment. My next thought was, "and he could have a gun," since people are crazy and New Yorkers are crazier.

At this point, I shoved the dear daughter down inside the square structure and began to assess my other options while also trying to figure out what was going on. I peeked around one side and could see a lot of people standing around watching. I could see the dear husband's black beanie in the doorway, and I thought, "Why is he just standing there? It must not be too serious." Then the commotion got louder and I ducked down with the dear daughter. Once it quieted, we came out and tiptoed around the other side and began talking quietly with an Australian couple who were just as confused as we were. I commented to the dear daughter, "I can't believe your daddy didn't get involved and stop it."

Then suddenly people were screaming again and running towards us or diving under clothing racks, and I looked up to see a fairly tall black guy running like a mad man, cursing and screaming, down the center of the store. At this point, I grabbed the dear daughter and ran frantically to the very back of the store, looking for a dressing room or storage room. As I was about to dive with her under a table of jeans, a girl pulled back a black curtain and motioned us inside. She apparently had been there the whole time holding a wide-eyed little boy. Feeling immediately as if I had backed us into a corner in this tiny room with no other exit, I began to look for something that could be used as a weapon and found nothing. By this time three other girls joined us. We could still hear a large commotion outside. And for the first time it occurred to me to ask, "Has anyone called 911?" to which one girl answered matter-of-factly in her Bronx accent, "This is New York."

Once that registered in my brain as an emphatic "no," I pulled out my phone and made the call. I had the store's address in my phone calendar (this is the part where my friends all say, "Of course you did") and I began giving details relayed to me by the girls standing with me, "Some crazy man...yes there is weapons...people are hiding..." When I hung up, I again told the dear daughter, "I just can't believe your daddy didn't stop this guy."

Finally, someone came and told us it was safe to come out. Not being one to get overly excited about things, I went to the cashier to pay for my purchases, which I was still clutching, when I decided to call the dear husband to tell him where we were. As soon as he answered I asked, "Where ARE you?" and he began yelling (my first clue that, oh, he was involved), "I'm downstairs! I'm bleeding! That crazy fool..." at which point I just hung up, turned to the dear daughter and said, "He WAS involved," and moved downstairs.

This photo is the one a store employee took with the dear husband's phone before I came downstairs and took the one from my phone that I posted on Sunday.

From The Dear Husband's Perspective (and some parts filled in by others)

The first ruckus occurred when the black guy, a customer, was leaving the store and stopped at the security desk to pick up the bags he checked earlier. He had a girlfriend with him and they had shopped with no problems noted. For some reason, he began to glare at the guy working the baggage check. The guy behind the counter, being a New Yorker, glared back of course. This turned into words being exchanged and eventually the customer making threats such as, "I know where you work. I'll come back and take care of you." Once threats were made, the guy stepped from behind the counter to show he wasn't intimidated. The girlfriend did what all girls do and acted as if she could hold her boyfriend back. He did what all cowards do and acted as if this was working.

This scene moved into the store a bit, which is what caused girls to scream and spread out. The store guy didn't provoke the crazy guy at all, but simply stood his ground and looked the bully in the eye. Finally, the crazy customer charged the store guy and they began to fight. The store guy defended himself with a few punches to the crazy's head, and then the crazy guy came at him and took him down. While they were fighting, no one was doing anything but watching and screaming, so The dear husband jumped in and attempted to separate them, but they were locked together like two pit bulls. The dear husband yelled for someone to help and guys started helping pull them apart. Another employee inserted a metal bar in the doorway as if to detain the crazy customer, but that maniac pulled out the bar and shoved it to the ground. Thankfully, he didn't think to use it as a weapon! The crazy customer then continued trying to intimidate the other male employees, standing over them, glaring down at them with an aggressive stance.

He then began pointing at the store guy and yelling at the store manager, accusing the store guy of "attacking him," complaining about his shirt being ripped and his glasses being lost. The dear husband quickly spoke up and said, "No that's not what happened and I'll be glad to tell you what happened." The store employees managed to evict the crazy, and the dear husband and the manager began walking to the staircase to go downstairs to write up an account of the events.

With their backs to the store entrance, they heard women screaming and they turned to see the crazy customer charging full speed through the middle of the store, yelling and cussing like a mad man. Assumingly, he was headed to the back of the store where the store guy was located. The dear husband was just over halfway to the back of the store and his first thought was, "I've got to stop this guy." He considered tripping him, but realized that would still leave the guy free to make a move. With only a split second to take a couple of steps forward, he leaned his shoulder down and rammed the guy right below the rib cage. The impact, as you can imagine, was forceful and their bodies twisted just a bit, which allowed the dear husband to turn the guy's momentum the other way and the dear husband began to drive the guy backwards through the store and through five or six very full clothing racks, which is how the dear husband's head was cut.

Once the two hit a wall, the dear husband picked up the crazy and rammed him flat on the floor and held him down. The guy probably had no idea at this point what had just happened, as his insanity had been focused on his target, the store guy. He tried to punch the dear husband, but the dear husband had him "so tied up" that he couldn't move. At one point, the dear husband began trying to recover his own phone and glasses, and the guy managed to flip over on him, but the dear husband somehow managed to keep him contained. (This would be about the time I was calling 911.)

Thankfully, the store employees then broke them apart. This was the crazy customer's first look at the dear husband, who was suddenly the new enemy. The crazy, with a bewildered look, began yelling and cussing again, wanting more! The store employees then took the dear husband downstairs to clean the blood and calm him down. The crazy customer managed to run out before the police arrived.

The firefighter/paramedic was like a guy from any crime fighting NYC television show. He had the accent and the language and the humor. He told the dear husband, "Now go get you a knife and if you see him again, just gut that SOB (insert sound effects). That coward. He took the subway at Canal Street and he's in Brooklyn by now." These guys, the FDNY and the NYPD, were very kind and helpful and were quite impressed with the dear husband's bravery.

Within a few hours, the dear husband's elbow was in great pain and he could barely move his arm. After being covered in prayer by our friends from the South and sleeping with a heating pad, his arm had full range of motion and the pain subsided. He now has some pain in the shoulder and a stiff neck, but says it was well worth it.

We will never forget our New York experience, and I feel quite certain the crazy customer will never forget his South Georgia experience.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Tween Zebra and Moustache Sleepover Party


This was my daughter's first sleepover party. First, we decided on a number. I thought eight was manageable. The only rule was, "No drama girls."

About four weeks ahead of time, we sent out a Save the Date via Evite. We mailed invitations two weeks later. The photo above shows the photo card I created on Shutterfly. My daughter is an Instagramer, so this fit her personality.

Her theme started as leopard and hot pink, but as we were shopping for items, she decided she liked zebra and hot pink better, even though it's a bit overdone. I found plates and napkins at Big Lots for $1 per pack. At some point, moustaches were thrown into the theme, which made it a little more fun.


For gift bags, I used four hot pink and four black paper bags from Wal-Mart. My husband cut zebra Duck tape into strips the width of the bag and placed them in the center of one side. Pink bags had black fuzzy socks and black bags had pink ones. The birthday girl's socks were zebra striped. I have a ribbon hole puncher and used at the tops of the bags.

I found party mints at Wal-Mart in zebra wrapping and added candy and a chewable grape flavored moustache. I used a sheet of shipping labels to print each girls name with a little moustache above it and secured those to the back of the bags, which served as name cards for place settings.

I bought two 4-packs of clear plastic cups, and my husband again cut zebra Duck tape and secured around the tops of the cups. He first made a template with paper to determine the width that would fit without having wrinkles (which is the area of the cup before it begins to taper down). He used an Exacto knife and a plastic top to a storage container to measure and cut the tape.

Another cute Wal-Mart find were moustache party straws. The pre-cut holes in the moustaches were too small, so this was a bit stressful trying to attach without ripping the cardboard. These could easily be made with card stock, a Google image, and hole punch.

For the sleeping area, we used one of my boys' rooms (they both were kicked out for the night). That room already has two futons, so we opened them as beds and then put one more mattress on the floor between the two futons. This was still a tight fit for eight girls, but we thought it would at least work for movie watching, and then as they became sleepy, they could always get up a find another place to sleep.

I found zebra striped pillow cases at Wal-Mart for $2.50 per two-pack. Pillows were $2.50 each. Of course, they weren't high quality ones, but they served the purpose of a cute party favor. We looked everywhere for hot pink, soft fleece blankets, and finally someone posted a lot on eBay and I snagged them. We set up each pillow and blanket on the mattresses, and my daughter and husband hung streamers from the ceiling.

The Party

Girls were dropped off at our house. My husband and I then transported them in our vehicles to the mall. In order to eliminate any drama over who rides with whom, I used one of the bags the pillow cases came in to create a drawing. My husband's vehicle was the moustache and mine was zebra. This made it quick and easy, and we used it each time we drove somewhere. It was also good for mixing up the groups so that little cliques didn't form.

The Photo Scavenger Hunt

My boys met us at the mall and were the leaders of the two photo scavenger hunt groups. The instructions were in sealed envelopes, so that no one saw them ahead of time. Again, we drew from the zebra bag in order to select teams. The rules for the game were as follows:
  1. No running.
  2. No screaming.
  3. Every girl in the group has to be in the photo.
  4. The group leaders are the photographers.
  5. Photos must be texted to Mom.
  6. The first one to text an item receives 2 points; the second one receives 1 point.
  7. Items do not have to be completed in order, so a good strategy allows more "firsts."
  8. The first group to return to Mom with all texts completed receives an additional 5 points.

The winning team took a photo making "We're #1" signs.
And the losing team made  the sign for loser.
Afterwards we had a snack at Auntie Anne's.

The Dance Class

After a stop at home for a quick change, we headed to my daughter's dance academy for a hip hop class and pizza. Even the non-dancers enjoyed the class, although one had to skip this part in order to go pitch a softball game. An alternative to paying for studio time would be to pay a high school dancer to come over and teach a dance to the girls.
We had pizza delivered to the studio and brought a cooler with drinks. Very easy.

Time for Cake

Back at home, we had cake and ice cream and opened gifts. I learned years ago to purchase individual ice cream cups and bottled or can drinks. However, because we had the cute moustache straws and zebra cups, we served milk or water this time.


I tacked a pink plastic table cloth on the wall and the girls had fun posing for pictures with photo booth props from Wal-Mart.

The Nail Polish Game kept them busy for at least 30 minutes. Girls who had recent manicures painted their toes instead of fingers.

After nails dried, the girls put on pajamas and their new socks and headed to the sleeping room to play Truth or Dare and then watch movies. I found a 4-movie Girls' Night DVD at Target.

Some girls were asleep by 1:00 AM and some stayed up until 4:00 AM, but they were quiet enough for me! Of course those who fell asleep first woke up with moustaches drawn on their faces.


Simplicity was again the goal. The girls served themselves and enjoyed a sleepy-head breakfast together before everyone was picked up at 10:00 AM. My daughter pitched in to clean up, gave me a big hug, and headed for her bed.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

To All the Moms I've Known Before

Matt with The Pinz
Scrolling through my Facebook feed, my heart sank as I read, "Just remembered this Sunday is my least favorite holiday of the year..." Matt, a friend of The Pinz posted that. His mom was killed when he was just a toddler. 

A week prior I read a post from Karen, a former student, "11 more days an I am not ready. Can we bypass that day? Its only a wish." Her mom died last year. Two childhood friends, both Pams, have put up pictures of their moms this week. Both girls have been left to raise families without the comfort and support of their mothers. Another friend, Milva, is again missing her sweet mama.

While many people are celebrating with gifts and meals and quality time, Mother's Day brings sadness to countless others. I used to be one of the latter. But then I recalled the advice of one of the many moms I've had the pleasure of knowing. Alta Bruce tells her girls, "When you're feeling down, do something for someone else." So I decided to send cards that year to my friends who had lost children during their lifetime or to those who were facing their first Mother's Day without their own moms. I've done this for several years now, and I always feel guilty when they thank me. Because I do it partially to help myself.

This year I decided that I would write something for all of them together. Partially to help myself. 


It would be so easy to have a pity party for having no parents and no grandparents. But negativity isn't something I cling to very often. When I was about ten, my Nona insisted I read Pollyanna. She fully subscribed to the find something to be happy about mentality. She trained me to think that way. Sometimes it's really annoying. You want to just be mad or sad, but those happy thoughts come creeping in. You start counting your blessings. And there it is. Your mood is lifted. So as this Mother's Day was approaching, my sadness was overcome by a feeling of being blessed to have known and been influenced by so many wonderful mothers.

In a birthday card to my son this week, my uncle proclaimed, "We aren't just the age we are presently, but all the ages we have been before." So true. It's why I love Facebook. While I'll admit, there are people on there whom I have no idea how I know them, most are near and dear to my heart and have contributed in some way to who I am or what my life story is.

My own mom was brave. She had polio as a child. She had me as a teenager. She taught me much
Me with My Parents in 1968
about life. It just took me awhile to understand it all. But hers is a story for another blog. With a crazy daddy who appeared and disappeared irregularly, I often  longed for a "normal" home; however, my Pollyanna attitude has always reminded me to be forever grateful for the two godly women who helped raise me. My grandmothers were amazing women. They poured love into me. Theirs are also stories for another time.

Of course I had other family members to stand in the gap as well - a special aunt who somehow managed to remember me in the midst of raising her three in a somewhat dysfunctional situation;  a happy-go-lucky sister; lots of fun cousins; and a few great-aunts who had no children of their own and thereby did extra special things for me. But it's not them I am writing about today. It's the moms who aren't family members who have enhanced my life. For them I am thankful this Mother's Day.

One of those moms is the latest loss. Her girls are facing their first motherless Mother's Day. I met this family as soon as I moved from Atlanta to Blackshear. They had no idea of the chaos that had ensued in the years prior to my move. They didn't know they were the first "real" family I had seen in action, other than the Cleavers and the Bradys on television  But they modeled for me the values I would later seek for my own life - family, faith, fun. And hard work. Theirs was a loving home. The girls had beautifully decorated rooms with plenty of clothes and toys, but they were expected to work. In tobacco fields. In the kitchen. I can still picture them scurrying onto counter tops to put dishes away in cabinets they couldn't yet reach. Much to my dismay, they even cut their Nanny's toe nails. And their mother was lovely. The epitome of a southern lady. She could light up a room. And she made everything into a funny story. Even the bad things her girls might or might not have done through the years. She knew how to punish them, but she also knew how not to take life too seriously. Paige and Mit, I'm blessed to have been a part of the Henderson family during those precious years of country living. I hope you are counting your many blessings this Mother's Day.

Another heart-wrenching Facebook post this week was a family portrait. Four beautiful, wonderful adult siblings and their families. Heart-wrenching because two of the siblings are no longer with us. The mother who posted it is one of the moms I'm blessed to have known. I laugh just thinking of the crazy fun she allowed us to have (well for the part she was aware of anyway). They had a big house full of children, theirs and anybody else's who wanted to be there, along with an enormous dog. No space was off limits. We made green muffins from scratch and had sleepovers in the laundry room, the back deck, the brothers' bath tub. We snuck out at night and went skinny dipping in the lake. When the lake was drained, we covered ourselves from head to toe in mud. We jumped out the window, rang the front door bell, and jumped back in. And if it wasn't enough to have the run of the house, they also let us get free bottle drinks from the Coke slider machine at their pharmacy. My favorite thing though was mealtime. Eating with that many people was interesting to say the least. And I was always amazed at how this family managed to get up on Sunday mornings, get ready for church, AND have bacon, sausage, and pancakes for breakfast - without killing each other. Ms. Janice, I am blessed to have been a part of the wonderful Smith family for so many years. I am glad to see that you are still able to count your blessings.

There are many, many others.

Jackie Houston who also allowed us to play all over the house, have grand parties in the play room, make big messes in the kitchen, and turn the music up loudly. Jami, I'm forever thankful for the memories.

Latrell Baggs who cooked for us and always managed to remain so calm and kind. Angela and Melanie, you two come as a package along with an entire clan of people who I am blessed to have known and learned about love, humor, and appreciation of individualism.

Joyce Dixon Fowler, who is still in my life, is a testament to the inner strength of a woman. After losing her husband in a military accident while living in another country, she pulled herself together and raised three girls by herself. They didn't always make it easy. But she has an endless amount of grace and love and mercy. And she gives it with all the class of a true southern lady.

Together we have all shared happy times. And yet we also share loss. We share pain.

My thoughts and prayers are with so many. Along with Paige and Misty, two other sets of sisters are experiencing their first Mother's Day without their moms. Verna Lynn and Carmen lost their mom almost a year ago. She fitted me for my wedding gown. Beth and Carol suffered their loss in the fall. A farmer's wife. The very essence of traditional American wholesome values.

But as difficult as it is to lose your mother, there are far too many who have lost a part of themselves when a child was taken so soon.

Em (sitting) and me (standing)
Mary Lane lost my cousin Emily Ann when I was about five years old. There have been many moments in my life that gripped Mary Lane's heart. I could recognize the pain in her eyes, even though I was often too young to understand it. Yet she kept smiling. She, too, was trained by that Pollyanna loving lady. She smiled at my Easter dresses at church. Even offered to take me shopping sometime. She smiled, through tears, when I walked the church isle in cap and gown and then again in a wedding dress. Her strength is a part of me. It's a part of her daughter-in-law, Melinda, too. Losing their Ann Marie a few years ago was seemingly unbearable. Yet no other life celebration has touched me the way hers did. Faith was the message. Maybe not from the preacher. I don't remember. But from the family. I'm blessed to call you all family.

My friend and former colleague, Jane, lost her Winston as he was just making the transition from boy to man. Jane's relaxed manner and funny stories about raising her three helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. She had the hindsight that I wasn't privy to yet. Cathy Landers also lost a young man, Adam. Theirs is a quiet strength.

Fratina Is a New Mom
Several friends experienced loss at the time when life was supposed to be the gift they were receiving. Amy, Teresa, Fratina have suffered something so delicate and raw. But God certainly sent other blessings to them. Fratina posted news of the finalization of her two adoptions this week! Mother's Day will have new meaning.

My cousin Melanie lost Denton, one of her twins, before ever being able to bring him home from the
hospital. She didn't allow her heart to be closed, however. Sister Blaine now has two beautiful siblings all the way from Russia.

My friend Michelle lost her precious MJ after watching him suffer as disease took over his little body. Michelle reminds me of the verse that says rejoicing comes in the morning. She starts every day with Him, and therefore, finds strength to bless others.

So many other friends are in my constant prayers.

Gina and Renee and I lined our babies on the sofa in their onesies. We teased Gina about using
Kaley, Wyatt, and Breanna
jelly on the pacifier. We never imagined Kaley's life here would be cut short. Gina's mother, Ms. Vera Sue, helped her through this unimaginable time, and then later lost Gina's brother Joey. This is another family that impacted my life, and so many others, by the fun times in their loving home. The Pophams are everybody's family.

My friends and former colleagues, Kim and Teresa, are still trying to figure out life without their handsome boys, Holt and Layne. While Pam, Kathy P, Jill, Aunt Shirley, Kathy C, Ms. Virgina have all had more time to heal, their hearts are no more mended. All share a strong faith that gives strength to those who miss their children, Rob, Beth Ann, Kelly, Jerry, Tag, and Austin.

Grandma Brenda (on the ground), my Walt & Alex Jr. (sitting)

My sister-in-law lost her teenage son, Alex Jr., who was born a month after his father was tragically killed along with her brother, Walt. My mother-in-law is overcome with this heartache. The other grandmother, Brenda, who also lost both son and grandson had already suffered the loss of her first born, Ardie, years earlier. It's almost too much to fathom. Brenda is one of my personal heroes. Her heart has remained open and she has continually given of herself and managed to find joy and laughter even after much tragedy.

Mary, Meghan, and Kelly
Another hero is Lynn. Lynn who comforted me at the funeral home. She and Robbie who are a walking testimony to what we can overcome. They lost both of their precious girls, her father, and a special friend all in one moment. Our little community thought we could handle anything together. But we fell apart. Robbie sent comfort to us through the preacher with a Word that would pull us back together. Collectively, we ensured the lives and grand memories of Meghan, Mary, Mr. Eldon, and Kelly were celebrated as the Gaskins ministered to us through their words and actions in the days that followed. Their faith held us together.

And because of that and the strength I find from all of these moms, I am blessed this Mother's Day. My heart still aches for my mother. But it aches profoundly more for these mothers who are missing parts of themselves. And yet they find something to be happy about.

As Robbie Gaskins reminded us, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Counting My Blessings

Friday, May 10, 2013

Add e-Mail Account to Droid

I can usually find the answer to any technical question by doing a Google search and reading the first few forums that pop up; however, I could not find this answer, so wanted to share it.

If you are trying to add your (formerly e-mail account to your Droid, the first step is to stop trying to go through Settings. This is where I was beating my head against the brick wall. There is no need to choose POP or IMAP or know the server port.

Instead, go to your list of apps and select the Mail App (an envelope icon). Tap the menu button in the top right corner. Then select Add Account. Then select Microsoft Exchange ActiveSync.

The default info is not correct. Change it as follows:

  • Server address:
  • Domain: <leave empty>
  • User name: Your email address
  • Password: Your password
  • TLS/SSL encryption required: Yes
This worked like a charm for me. I found the info on Microsoft's website, but it is easily overlooked if you don't understand what you are asking, as was the case with me.